A LETTER TO THE ONE WHO REJECTED MY FRIENDSHIP PROPOSAL
Written by Sheila Ocloo
A year ago, I walked to you. We met at a friend’s party near the swimming pool and I asked you to be my friend. Never have I done such a thing like this. In case you didn’t know, it took me two weeks to rehearse my lines and research about you. You were high in your rank and I was mediocre. I so needed you to be my friend because, despite your strictness, which most people considered as harsh, I saw truth and love in you. I knew you will not hesitate to tell me the truth when the need arises. I also knew I could easily confide in you with anything related to me. It was strange as if I
have met or known you before.
I had the shock of my SOUL when you texted me days later stating that, you didn’t want to be my friend ever again and I should not approach you again. What could I have done that was so wrong for you to condemn me in such a way? At least you should have spoken to me face to face and explained the reasons behind your actions. You sent me a text instead.
A year on, I still feel the pain even after I have approached you and said I was sorry. It hurts so much when you don’t say anything to me outside the usual greetings. I feel like you still don’t want me around. In case you are reading this, I want you to know that there is NOTHING WRONG WITH LOVING SOMEONE, good communication builds great friendships. Friendships are built slowly on TRUST.
Perhaps a few more curious questions about me from you would have cleared some doubts. I know for a fact that you listened to hearsay instead of talking to me. Why didn’t you ask me?
Now, I am telling the whole world I LOVE YOU. I still do and forever will. You are a wonderful person.
We would have been the best of pals. I say this because we both come with interesting packages of attitudes, norms, and standards. I was so looking forward to learning from you.
All I have now is pain. I must move on. I want you to be happy. My only wish is for the pain I feel inside to go away. This pain reminds me of my low self-worthiness, and I regret so much the day I
rehearsed those lines and approached you.
I wish you GRACE. I wish you, LOVE. I wish you FAITH. I wish you HOPE. I wish you all the good things you will ever wish for yourself even the ones you have forgotten. Your fears be a thousand light-years apart from you. They will never materialize.
I have nothing more to say again. I only want you to know this: I am sorry I asked you to be my friend. I am sorry I loved you, so sorry indeed to have the faintest of hope that friendship was going to be possible. I accept now, all your responses to this question of mine. Even though they were never said in words, your actions showed I was beneath you and you preferred others, a thousand times over me. You abused me with your silence. I know, I AM NOT WORTH YOU. You only shouldn’t have reminded me of the way you did. It is well deserved, this pain I feel. Thank you.
I LOVE YOU.