MY PAIN AS A WOMAN
Written by Sheila Ocloo
My pain, as a woman born in Africa. This is not what I had envisaged for myself at the age of 38. I had dreamt of a far better and smoother life than this. A life where I am allowed to make my own decisions, implement them and face the consequences regardless of the outcome. What is this life that I live? I graduated with a professional degree and yet society makes me feel like an illiterate. In fact, I am reminded constantly every day. I cannot lobby and win business contracts genuinely because I am a woman. Sex must precede this game anytime, anywhere, anyhow at all cost. Why can’t I make money genuinely? Why does society make everything difficult for me? Nothing annoys than another HELL HOLE, marriage, if you ask me. I am sick and tired of been rewarded with some five minutes praise, appellations, poetry recitals and composed songs which I cannot even remember overnight. I need money ‘’gaddammit’’.
Money to sort my soul out with some ‘fine things’ is what I am looking for. One will ask, “What do you mean by fine things? “Fine things” must include your family and spouse. Well, my answer to them is, “it is none of their ‘motherfucking’ business to define what “fine things” are for me. Fine things are FINE THINGS.
Are they insinuating a woman is not intelligent enough to sort herself out when and
how she pleases? Next question please! The opportunity to win business contracts with all cards on deck is what I am referring to. That, I will not be awarded a contract because I am pitied. I am strong enough to compete with anyone from anywhere. Just put equal
opportunities out there. Don’t manipulate and don’t cheat.
I have followed all my tenets right and yet I am rewarded with pain. I am so choking! I hate to make comparisms, but, let me in this instance to other women in other continents. They live a far better life, even though it might not be the ultimate best. Yet, in other continents I am far better off than my sisters living in those parts. In the end, it is the same everywhere.
I can’t wait to wake up some day, when all women will rise up and say, ENOUGH! “We are through with this cat! The moment where, we will cage that dinging dangling pendulum between their thighs and feed it when it should. Well, it seems to me that, “dangling” thing is the cause of all our woes across the globe! In honest consideration, has it been their fault? Can we really blame them?
No, I must say. It is the WOMAN who made them so. It started the minute they were
born, how we treated them and “classed” them as a demi gods. Many train their children with opposite sexes with partiality. One is always more rewarded better than the other. Women are their own enemies, I must say. Can’t you see how women globally who occupy certain positions in the corridors of power behave? Instead of standing and speaking up for their sisters and mothers, most (with the reservation of few) will speak against and will want all to bow to them. Sisters can’t we do something?
Well I can do something! I choose to write. At least I am free in this space of my mind. I must continue to FIGHT! I must be prepared teach all daughters to wake up.
I will tell them the story from the beginning. The truth I must say. This way, they will learn to fight for what is due them and treat all others with love and have respect for everyone regardless of their sexes. The world for once must be a very peaceful place to live in. If all women can train and treat their daughters equally like the sons, then, all these will gradually fade away. The question however, is the truth solvable and who is to be blamed? The truth lies at the doorstep of the Woman.